Posted on August 9, 2015

There are many reasons to use lubricants (lube) during sexual activities, though there still remains a misconception by many that only old people (mostly women) really need it. And though lube is extremely helpful in making intercourse much more comfortable and enjoyable for peri/post menopausal women, that’s just the beginning of the story. Some other situations and reasons to use lube are:

*When time only allows for a quickie and natural lubrication is lagging

*When you’re going for a marathon love making session

*Easier, more comfortable when using toys

*It decreases friction, thus decreasing irritation and break down of skin integrity (which will also decrease incidence of sexual transmitted infections)

*It reduces performance anxiety and pressure (no one will be thinking  “Oh, I’m not wet so he/she is going to think I’m not turned on”)

*When taking certain medications like birth control pills and antihistamines

*During chemotherapy

*Having sex in water (silicone lube works best for watersports)

*Just because it feels REALLY good

Now that you know some of the reasons to use lube, it’s really important to know that some lubes are really, really bad for you, and you shouldn’t just slather any old product on your privates. Lots of lube companies are just in it for the money and don’t really care about your health & well being. And just because a lube is expensive doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better. In general my mantra tends to be, if you can’t pronounce it you shouldn’t be putting it in your vagina or on your penis (exception: some silicone lube ingredients are hard to pronounce but can work very well).

Obviously (or maybe not), you want to avoid lubes with artificial colors and scents. Hypoallergenic on a label is almost meaningless as the FDA has little to no criteria for what hypoallergenic lube is. Never use Vaseline, mineral oil or Nonoxynol 9 as these are petroleum products, and really, do you want to put petroleum in your love box?!?! Didn’t think so. Probably best to avoid lubes that have glycerin, xylitol & galactose as they are basically sugar, and yeast (infections) love, love, love to grow on them. Chlorhexadine is a very harsh preservative that can be extremely irritating and kills natural bacteria leaving you open to more infections.

Some vegetables oils work quite well, are very inexpensive, and have few or no negative side effects–though there are those out there that would argue this point with me. Don’t use flavored oil, like garlic or hot peppers–OUCH!! Jojoba, olive and coconut oil, in addition to being good lubes, can be very soothing to vaginal tissues. But be careful as oils can go rancid. Keep them fresh and don’t interchange your cooking oils with your sex oils!

So I know it’s kinda hard to bring this list when you’re lube shopping, and you might not want to look like a geek with list in hand while you’re checking all the ingredients. But maybe you’re fine with that. Anyway, some lubes to stay away from are: almost all Astroglide lubes, ditto KY products, and Surgilube. Some recommendations, and personal favorites ;-)) are: coconut oil, Platinum, Sutil, and Aloe Cadabra. For those of you who live around Ventura County where I live and like to support local businesses then Aloe Cadabra is your lube (and it’s made form 95% organic aloe vera!). It’s available in lots of places or you can order it online at

Bottom line is, you have to try a few different lubes to see which feels best for you (and your partner, if you have one). So go get slippery and have fun picking your favorite!